Night 1 and we already have our good friends over at the BOYZ N GERS bringing you everything you need to know about tonight’s game at the Garden. Enjoy their coverage below and be sure to send them fan mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Subscriber Note of the Game
“Panarin/Jones each have 11 points, not 10. Idiots. Can we trust anything you say in the future?”
– Conor (Connor?…joke B’s fan)
Conor, we appreciate you reading so closely. However, you are in fact the idiot, idiot. Not just for being a B’s fan, but for thinking that we would give Panarin and Jones apples on this bullshit goal:
Besides Panarin’s obvious hook 6 seconds into the clip, this is a JOKE that they allowed this goal. Wennberg clearly punches the puck in. Even if the Wild didn’t protest the game, the least we can do is take those assists away from both Panarin and Jones. So…they did have 10 points at the time, idiot.
New York Rangers vs. Boston Bruins
MSG | NYC, NY
11/8/17 | 8:00 PM (standard Rivalry Night puck drop time)
THE SKINNY DIP
LET’S DIVE HEADFIRST INTO THIS TILT. TRUNKS OPTIONAL, SNORKELS MANDATORY
First order of business is officially declaring that the NEW YORK RANGERS ARE FUCKIN’ BACK – LFG BOYS. Holy hell I was sweatin’ in my mom’s garage for the first 12 games but goddamn all of the sudden I am so fired up for the Cup parade in June.
Seriously, is Brady Skjei the best d-man in the Eastern Conference? He’s a one-man breakout every time he has the puck behind his own net. And how about Miller, Zibanejad, and Buchnevich? Those three are on their way to becoming untouchable in this organization.
The only thing you can really ask for now is for SMITTY and HANK to wake up and start playing like the SAVIGÉS we know they are.
By the way, we are going to run over the Bruins. They are really bad.
NYR7-7-2 (16 pts)
PP: 24.2% PK: 81.1%
6-4-3 (15 pts)
PP:25.5% PK: 87.2%
CATCH THE BUZZ ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BEEHIVE
It’s been a lackluster season for Cassidy’s Causeway Kids thus far. Plagued by injuries (add Marchy to the list that already includes Krejci, Backes, Spooner and Darth Quaider) and an absurd October schedule that saw them play once a week, the B’s haven’t been able to build any real momentum and sit on 15 points through 13 games. (2-1-2 last 5).
I don’t hate what I see out there, but I certainly don’t love it. Some of the young guys looks good. Tuukka remains a mystery. McAvoidagoal has been a letdown. Is Chara back?!? I’ve accepted the fact that mid-season games against the Hurricanes are now must win, and that’s it’s gonna be a gritty, blue-collar season. But B’s fans are blue collar guys and gals. Gimme that 7 seed and let’s make an epic cup run…
Oh and that momentum I was talking about? What better way to build some then by chasing Hank after the 1st period and laying a good old fashioned Big Bad Bruins beat down on the Rags at The (fake) Garden!!
Good luck tonight @boyz. Go B’s.
– “Bandy’s B’s Guest Take” by Jack Bandera (loyal subscriber)
“WASHED UP” WEDNESDAY
NO MATTER THE DAY OF THE WEEK, WE GOT YOU COVERED
Pretty obvious alliteration to go with when you’re playing against the Boston Bruins. So, here it goes…
The B’s are so washed up they’re hosting a charity car wash where Krejci, Bergeron, Chara, and McQuaid are gonna scrub people’s cars all day long – not for money, but for forgiveness.
The B’s are so washed up I heard Charlie McAvoy was mistaken for a dead whale on the Cape over the summer. #Fatso
The B’s are so washed up that Jack Bandera was the “most dedicated B’s fan” we could think of to write the Guest Take today.
The B’s are so washed up Tanner Glass turned down a contract offer last night.
The B’s are so washed up “Ian” and “Conor” are fans.
The B’s are so washed up half of their “fanbase” subscribes to Boyz ‘N Gers.
The B’s stink.